My gandfather was an Aberdonian man with a penchant for receiting silly poems. He died a good few years ago, but I often think about these mad poems.
One of his favourites, had a memrorable verse that went like this:

Not last night but the night before,
three little monkeys came to my door,
one with a fiddle and one with a drum,
and one with a pancake tied to his bum.

There is mention of something similar, with pancakes, fiddles and drums here:
http://www.folklore.bc.ca/Onefineday.htm#Onefine, I'd love to know what it means.

His other classics were:
The boy stood on the burning deck,
the captain shouted reverse,
the boy fell down the hatchway,
and landed on his ahhhhhhhhh,

Now don't you be mistaken,
now don't you be mislead,
the boy fell down the hatchway,
and landed on his head.

He also took great delight in making up lyrics, apprently in the 60's when the Rolling Stones released "Not Fade Away" he used to annoy my Dad greatly by singing,

I wanna tell you how it’s gonna be,
3 jam buns and a cup of tea.

He had another rude one. Everyone told him to keep quiet when he started, when the kids were around, something about a seagull on a rock, but the exact wording escapes me.

There are also a series of poems my Dad comes out with now and again, he grew up in Scotland too,

My Maw's a millionaire,
blue eyes and curly hair,
running around with eskimos,
having a game of dominoes,
my maw's a millionaire.

Apparently it's an old Scottish street song:
http://www.scotsindependent.org/features/singasang/ma_maws_a_millionaire.htm.

This website lists a lot of other Glasgow street songs http://www.seniorsnetwork.co.uk/reminiscence/skippingsongs.htm, another which highlights perfectly the relationship between people and their in laws, was one Dad used to come out with:

O ye canny shove yer Granny aff the bus,
O ye canny shove yer Granny aff the bus,
O ye canny shove yer Granny
'Cos she's yer Mammy's Mammy
O ye canny shove yer Granny aff the bus.

Ye can shove yer ither Granny aff the bus.
Ye can shove yer ither Granny aff the bus.
Ye can shove yer ither Granny
'Cos she's yer Faither's Mammy
Ye can shove yer ither Granny aff the bus.

Ye can shove yer Uncle Wullie aff the bus.
Ye can shove yer Uncle Wullie aff the bus.
Uncle Wullie's like yer Faither
A harum-scarum blether,
Ye can shove yer Uncle Wullie aff the bus.

Singing....I will if you will....so will I
Singing....I will if you will....so will I
Singing, I will if you will, I will if you will
I will if you will, so will I