I like this, I've been playing the devil's advocate in recent discussions with an unnamed person arguing the hypocrite line in discussions about fanaticism. This poem shall be my future substitute for such discussions, despite not totally agreeing. This seat atop this fence is damn comfortable. ;-)

If I had my way with violent men
I'd simmer them in oil,
I'd fill a pot with bitumen
And bring them to the boil.
I execrate the terrorist
And those who harbour him,
And if I weren't a moralist
I'd tear them limb from limb.

Fanatics are an evil breed
Whom decent men should shun;
I'd like to flog them till they bleed,
Yes, every mother's son,
I'd like to tie them to a board
And let them taste the cat,
While giving praise, oh thank the Lord,
That I am not like that.

For we should love the human kind,
As Jesus taught us to,
And those who don't should be struck blind
And beaten black and blue;
I'd like to roast them in a grill
And listen to them shriek,
Then break them on the wheel until
They turned the other cheek.

Roger Woddis

Posted by jaffs at 01:05 PM | Permalink

The letters page in the Sunday Times yesterday included a comical letter:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2092-2437548,00.html
The start of the letter was:

I recently sold a mobile phone to an undergraduate via the web. There follows part of an e-mail that he sent to me: “Hya Have you already posted the phone?because if you havent could you please post to xxx instead. As i am at uni in blackpool and my postall adress on ebay is my home adress.”

There are similar enjoyable exchanges going on in the comments section of one of my posts:
http://www.jaffs.com/blog/2004/02/lore_by_rs_thomas.html

Particular highlights include:
* what is beraded with golden dew ment to mean? i aint gta clue lyk need it 4 ma english hmwrk

* give me rs thomas mob no hes hot

* im doing this 4 ma eng, i really liked the peom. R.S Thomas was a gd writer

* i think this poem is quite confusing as i am doing this in english how does Job Davis take pride in his work?
For my test i have put:
"Job Davis takes pride in his work bye getting up early every morning and doing the same job day in day out"
do you think this is a suitable answer for my standard as i am in year 8 and in top set?
many thanks amyrose smith.

Posted by jaffs at 08:38 AM | Permalink

Well after a break of a couple of months, my blog returns with a post taking the piss out of an advert in the Belfast Telegraph. The great thing about a blog is that you can do this with impunity, because if anyone points out the fact that my blog has appalling grammar and punctuation I can delete their comment.
The copy in this advert makes no sense at all. (Click for a larger image.)

Posted by jaffs at 08:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)